A thread about parenting

[Deleted member 46272]

If you search for "baby diving reflex", you will see a lot of articles on the topic. Babies instinctively hold their breath underwater and instinctively flail their arms and legs until they flip on their backs (and then their baby fat makes them float like corks). This goes away when they turn ~ 9mos - 1yo or so, and it's the perfect opportunity to get them exposure to water.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Diving_reflex
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Infant_swimming
https://texasswimacademy.com/natural-reflexes-swimming-baby/

 

[demultiplexer]

Wow - is this a new thing?

There is a window of about 6 months between about 4 months or so and about 12 months (IIRC) when babies can float on the water without panicking. Instincts are working at that age but the brain hasn't really caught up enough for them to question what is going on.

We started taking little with us swimming (we also do this weekly) at 6mo, but for all the theory around the baby swimming reflex, they still needed to learn not to panic around water. We've got a child with a VERY strong will so if there's something they don't want... it's not happening

We have 2 kids, and we got the timing right with one of them but missed our chance with the other one, and the difference in how well and how quickly they took to the water was night and day.

funnily, due to corona big wasn't able to go swimming until about 28 months old. Don't worry, they caught up real quick

And all of this is in the context of a culture that really emphasizes water safety and swimming. The Netherlands, much like Australia, is full of swimmers.

 

[w00key]

We went swimming last Sunday after a very long break, little guy was too itchy to focus on anything else before.

Hey, he's not itchy and anymore, a few months makes a ton of difference. But now he's afraid of the water and just clamps around mom the first 20 minutes, only got used to water again near the end of the lesson.

But still, mission accomplished, the two blocker issues are gone. Swimming is back on the menu!

 

[KT421]

Wow - is this a new thing?

When I had my kids they didn't kick hubs out to ask me about that, but a nurse did swoop in to ask while he wasn't there. I think if they didn't get an opportunity to ask without him present they would have had him step out (with or without security).

-----

My kids are 7 and behind on swimming skills. One was starting to get a hang of it last summer, the other still won't go where her feet don't touch the ground. Unfortunately, swimming lessons filled up even faster than summer camps, so while we tried to go to the pool frequently, we had to do all the teaching ourselves during regular recreational swim time and the kids don't want to be taught to swim, they want to play.

And to use that to segue to another topic, we did manage to get the girls into the two weeklong day camps they requested for this summer. We are fortunate to not need full summer care, so it was more about picking the weekly theme they were interested in. One of the sessions only had 10 slots left when I got in, and I was there in the queuing system when it opened like these were Taylor Swift concert tickets.

 

[ChaoticUnreal]

When I had my kids they didn't kick hubs out to ask me about that, but a nurse did swoop in to ask while he wasn't there. I think if they didn't get an opportunity to ask without him present they would have had him step out (with or without security).

-----

My kids are 7 and behind on swimming skills. One was starting to get a hang of it last summer, the other still won't go where her feet don't touch the ground. Unfortunately, swimming lessons filled up even faster than summer camps, so while we tried to go to the pool frequently, we had to do all the teaching ourselves during regular recreational swim time and the kids don't want to be taught to swim, they want to play.

And to use that to segue to another topic, we did manage to get the girls into the two weeklong day camps they requested for this summer. We are fortunate to not need full summer care, so it was more about picking the weekly theme they were interested in. One of the sessions only had 10 slots left when I got in, and I was there in the queuing system when it opened like these were Taylor Swift concert tickets.

My kids took swimming lessons at the Y and the local college during the winter. I know it is late now but might be something to keep in mind. My kids school also has an afterschool swim program (4th+) starting up soon.

That said my kids were in swim classes starting at like ~18mo till I was confident they wouldn't drown if they fell in a random pool.

 

[demultiplexer]

My kids are 7 and behind on swimming skills. One was starting to get a hang of it last summer, the other still won't go where her feet don't touch the ground. Unfortunately, swimming lessons filled up even faster than summer camps, so while we tried to go to the pool frequently, we had to do all the teaching ourselves during regular recreational swim time and the kids don't want to be taught to swim, they want to play.

II'm not sure if this stuff works differently culturally in the US, but around here there's this concept of being - transliterated from Dutch - 'water free' (as in: feeling free in the water, being able to relax etc.) which is an important step towards swimming for safety. Feeling free in the water is not something you need lessons for, you can do that in a playful context and in shallow water. As long as the water is deep enough to get into swimming position and to do shallow dives in, it's good enough (typically 90cm/3ft is considered adequate). Then once your kid feels at home in the water, you can consider more structured lessons to avoid them teaching themselves wrong technique and getting them moving in the water faster and with more confidence.

But don't worry too much about swimming lessons in this stage of water safety. Also don't worry about what age you start at. Your kids still have the rest of their lives to drown in and will benefit massively from being a competent swimmer at any age. Obviously the Netherlands has a bit more water to be afraid of all the time so it's drilled into us from an early age.

 

[pasorrijer]

Similar in Canada... So many lakes and rivers.

I was very surprised with just how buoyant a newborn was, as mentioned. Made for a lot of fun bouncing them in the water.

 

[Defenestrar]

It's not just buoyancy and bouncing. They starfish pretty well under rotational forces which means you can skip them across the water on their backs if you get the velocity right.

(Do not try that for real. Ever.)

 

[Tom the Melaniephile]

Our delivery rooms were surgical suites¹. I didn't feel patronized or sidelined at all. They even judged me stable enough to stand up and look over the curtain when the baby came out (which I gather is not a typical courtesy offered during Cesarians).

I didn't wait for the judgement, I just stood up. They then cautioned me, of course.

 

[hansmuff]

I didn't wait for the judgement, I just stood up. They then cautioned me, of course.

I did look as they walked me to the checkup area of my daughter. "Don't look." I regret not taking the advice.
I'm not afraid to say I am squeamish around that sort of thing. But NOOOOOO I had to look.

 

[w00key]

Nurse: you want to catch the baby?
Me: errr let's not

Good thing too, he shot out like a cannonball when his head got unstuck...

Okay here are the scissors, smile for the photo!


Nurses here are kinda different lol, but I like it. If you can handle the blood / sights you're welcome to help; at least for natural birth (incl forceps, suction cup and other minor medical procedures), no idea what it's like in surgery; probably no visitors, if you end up there it's serious business.

 

[demultiplexer]

I was at the c-section of both kids, I dutifully handed my wife's phone to one of the... 17 people in the OR for them to make pictures, instructed them very clearly that I had no interest in seeing them and partook only in holding the baby.

Best days of my life

 

[Bardon]

Our son was born by emergency c-section after 4 days of labour - I was allowed to help as much as my wife wanted in the ward, but the operating room was strictly out of bounds and I have zero issues with that. When my wife checked in the nurses asked who she wanted allowed in the room and at the birth (as we had planned for a non-c-section) and that the nurses would handle anyone who attempted to push in that wasn't on my wife's list.

I am not a religious man, but bless them.

 

[elitegimp]

Do any of you have recommendations on a good deodorant for preteens? The 9 year old (10 in a few months; F, but that doesn't mean we need pink branding instead of blue) is starting to get stinky especially after exercise... I figured I'd just go to Target and get some kid-centric deodorant but my recent search brought up a mix of kid and "all natural" grown-up sticks, which made me realize I don't know what I'm trying to accomplish with kid-specific brands. Should I be looking for aluminum-free? Are the all-natural grown-up deodorants going to be hard for her to apply since her pits are not grown-up sized? My wife and I both prefer deodorant to antiperspirant and sticks to sprays for ourselves, so we're going to hopefully start with that but I'm a little surprised at the amount of choice that exists and before I buy something made by Play Pits* or Megababe** I figured I'd check in and ask for recommendations

* out of stock / no longer sold in the nearby stores
** upon further review, this might actually be an all-natural grown-up brand

 

[Deleted member 46272]

Deodorants without antiperspirant really don't work - they try to mask the funk with strong odors, but they only make the problem worse for everyone around.
Our 9yo hit that age a few months ago, too, and we just use a normal brand of scentless antiperspirant; some woman's brand, but only because the stick is narrower and rounder while the men's is wider and flatter and the woman-shaped stick works better. Just a light dab under each arm, and that works fine. The concern about aluminum in antiperspirants being harmful is unfounded. There have been many studies done on this and no risks have been found. No need to over-think this.

 

[phoenix_rizzen]

Be sure to read the direction on the antiperspirant. Many folks miss the "apply the night before" part, as most antiperspirants take 4-8 hours to take effect. Applying it at bedtime works better than applying it before breakfast.

 

[Tom the Melaniephile]

Do any of you have recommendations on a good deodorant for preteens? The 9 year old (10 in a few months; F, but that doesn't mean we need pink branding instead of blue) is starting to get stinky especially after exercise...

A wipe with rubbing alcohol does a good job of temporarily controlling stink from my pits (or remove it after exercise stink has built up). Knocks back the population of stink-generating bacteria.

Oh, and those "natural crystal deodorant" rocks? Usually purchased by those wanting to avoid aluminum in traditional deodorants/antipersperants? Ironically it's a solid lump of potassium aluminum sulfate. Not that aluminum is a meaningful concern in a deodorant.

 

[elitegimp]

Deodorants without antiperspirant really don't work - they try to mask the funk with strong odors, but they only make the problem worse for everyone around.

I'm not really prepared for a Battlefront / Soapbox style debate on deodorant vs antiperspirant... I haven't looked into the research, but 30+ years ago when I began to get stinky the rule of thumb that "masking the smell for the course of the day sounds better than making my body unable to sweat" made sense so I've stuck with that. Combining my personal experience with a similar point of view from my wife, we're starting with "masking the smell for the school day and then taking a shower before bedtime is sufficient for our family so far, so even if it is not harmful to prevent your body from sweating we have something that works for the grownups that we'd like to try with the kids." I'm fully willing to accept that antiperspirant doesn't do any lasting harm, and maybe something will come up down the line that requires some of us to switch.

Besides asking the Lounge I also asked google, and I think we might start with a coconut-scented deodorant recommended by a random website (sold at Target, where we have some gift cards to burn anyway)

 

[Deleted member 46272]

Antiperspirants don't make your body unable to sweat. They make that small area they are applied to stop sweating.
People are REALLY good at getting used to strong smells (their own and others around them) after some period of exposure, so you may think that the deodorant is "masking" your odor - believe me, that is NOT true, or it may be true enough on a mild day and in a well-ventilated room when the odor hasn't built up and can dissipate. Those of us with a more acute sense of smell can still smell it, though, and it sucks.

Sweat + time + unable to evaporate = bacteria + smell.

You have to eliminate something on the left side of that equation, preferably 2 things to be sure, to eliminate the funk. And no, just plain "deodorant" doesn't deodorize - you still smell, except that there is cloying perfume layered on top of your funk.

 

[demultiplexer]

Also, maybe of use to some, but there's a bunch of garments that significantly cut down on the smell. Particularly wool is really good, but 100% cotton underwear is also way better than anything elasthane or synthetic, even if it's a blend. I live in a subculture of whackjob leftie green treehuggers and the absence of funk around people who haven't used deodorant in decades but wear wool shirts and underpants is amazing.

 

[zeotherm]

Zeolite A was an urgent (bordering on emergency C-section) it went totally fine in the end, but both mom and I were in no shape to do anything but hang on for the ride. Zeolite Beta, on the other hand, was a 100% planned C-section. While waiting for our turn in the OR the head of OB came in with all the med students and a resident, and the nursing staff were there with a bunch of nursing students too, so it was packed everyone was calm since there was no emergency. The doctor asked me if I had any last questions. I said "yes, given there is no emergency and this is the last planned kid.... can I cut her open?" ex-Mrs Therm started cracking up since she knew I could never do such a thing given how squeamish I am.... but BOY did I get a WHOLE ROOM of nasty looks from students and others . Only the main doc started laughing like "boy, you are out of your motherfucking mind"

To this day, I find it a hilarious tale.

 

[Scotttheking]

Thoughts on taking the 7 year old to disneyland this summer? Other than damn expensive, they’ve been asking, we have an unplanned week in the worst of summer, and, well dunno?

 

[Getting Better]

Thoughts on taking the 7 year old to disneyland this summer? Other than damn expensive, they’ve been asking, we have an unplanned week in the worst of summer, and, well dunno?

What sort of concerns do you have?

 

[KT421]

Thoughts on taking the 7 year old to disneyland this summer? Other than damn expensive, they’ve been asking, we have an unplanned week in the worst of summer, and, well dunno?

Disneyland is fun. Have sunscreen and a hat, have a good idea of kid's tolerance for rides with drops or high speed turns. Use the app to check ride wait times. You can do most of the park in a day, and add a second day if you want to go to California Adventure.

It can be hot in Anaheim in summer, but there are plenty of misters and air conditioned spaces around the park. And it's typically not humid.

 

[Scotttheking]

What sort of concerns do you have?

Nothing specific. The general craziness that is disney and what a kid of that age may find issue with.

 

[ChaoticUnreal]

Nothing specific. The general craziness that is disney and what a kid of that age may find issue with.

I went to disneyworld a few times when my kids were younger ("surprise" visit when the youngest was 4 weeks old (was a surprise cruise from the in-laws then we surprised them with a new grandchild)). At 7 he might be too old for a stroller but if you are going to be there for a day you will want one for him.

Thankfully we had the younger one so we had a reason to have the stroller and just doubled up when he got tired which he did (and your's will as well)

 

[KT421]

They rent strollers for $25 at the park. They're not exactly comfy but they'll do for a kid who needs to pass out for an afternoon nap.

Would be less needed if you are staying at a park hotel and can retreat to the room for a siesta.

We took the stroller when the girls had just turned 6 and it was the last time we used it. It was visibly bowing under their weight. We've done one visit since then with no stroller and had to head home at around 5pm or risk a meltdown of epic proportions.

 

[Semi On]

If feasible with your budget, it is nice to be staying at one of their hotels so you can quickly walk back for a break. You can always take a shuttle if you aren’t so it’s not a deal breaker or anything but there is some added value there.

 

[Jeff J]

My parents took a stroller when our kids were too big to ride it just to have a place to put snacks and sunscreen and towels and shopping bags and all the junk we carry. Your needs may vary.

 

[Getting Better]

Hm, I'm (obviously) not Scott, but now I'm thinking through how I'd be approaching it, and I wouldn't have even even considered a stroller for my 7yo. That's an interesting point y'all are raising. I take it Disney is engineered so that strollers are as minimal a pain logistically as possible?

 

[JiveTurkeyJerky]

What voodoo did y'all perform to have kids that still nap at that age?

Ours quit naps for good around 2

 

[zero cool]

We were there a few weeks back and I was so glad my wife convinced me to get a stroller for our almost-6-year-old as it allowed me to move at my pace instead of his.

 

[KT421]

Hm, I'm (obviously) not Scott, but now I'm thinking through how I'd be approaching it, and I wouldn't have even even considered a stroller for my 7yo. That's an interesting point y'all are raising. I take it Disney is engineered so that strollers are as minimal a pain logistically as possible?

Yeah, there are stroller parking lots outside every ride and attraction where you might want to leave a stroller for a while. Don't be surprised if the stroller is not exactly where you left it; there are staff constantly monitoring and moving them around as people leave gaps or park outside the stroller areas.

 

[elitegimp]

Thoughts on taking the 7 year old to disneyland this summer? Other than damn expensive, they’ve been asking, we have an unplanned week in the worst of summer, and, well dunno?

My brother's family go to Orlando every few years (their kids are high-school aged, but the trips started in elementary), and honestly from what I know of you based on your posting history I think you would enjoy planning the trip -- there are apparently tons of websites with strategies for minimizing wait time and getting reservations at all the good things that require reservations*. Not enough info to know if you'd enjoy the fruits of your labors when the planning ends and the actual Disneying begins

* sister-in-law keeps trying to bring us in to the Disney fold but we've been resisting mostly due to the cost of "doing it right". They do seem to have lots of fun every time, though!

 

[Jonathon]

What voodoo did y'all perform to have kids that still nap at that age?

Ours quit naps for good around 2

Don't underestimate the willingness to nap of an overstimulated kid that got up at 6am (or whenever).

Even if they refuse to nap, having someplace to get away from the crowds around mid-afternoon is huge. A nearby hotel's great for this (at Disneyland in California, doesn't have to be one of Disney's on-site hotels, but should be close)-- you have a room to go sleep in if naps are a thing, a pool to go play in if naps aren't a thing, and either way can relax away from the crowds for a bit and return to the park later in the afternoon/evening when some of the crowd has left, wait times are down a bit, and you're all fresher/less cranky.

Yeah, there are stroller parking lots outside every ride and attraction where you might want to leave a stroller for a while. Don't be surprised if the stroller is not exactly where you left it; there are staff constantly monitoring and moving them around as people leave gaps or park outside the stroller areas.

The corollary to this: attach something to your stroller (ribbons, a couple balloons, whatever) to clearly identify your stroller as yours. There will be other identical strollers in the park, and being able to spot yours from a distance when the stroller parking's been shuffled around is invaluable.

 

[zero cool]

Here’s like a quarter mile of strollers outside of Toon Town

 

[Chuckles]

R2 and my wife are combing my leg hair.

Was this activity buried in the boilerplate of the parenting contract?

 

[gregatron5]

Just wanted to take a moment to appreciate the Kratt brothers. I think the biggest loss when I finally let my Prime membership lapse will be access to the back catalog of their stuff, or what's available there at least. Kratts' Creatures, Zoboomafoo, Wild Kratts (which can still be watched on PBS Kids, btw). They're all great and my kids love them. I highly recommend them.

It's kind of amusing to go from an episode of Zoboomafoo that's 25+ years old to a new episode of WIld Kratts and see how they've aged. The conceit of Wild Kratts that the majority of it is animated (and they never change in the animation) is a stroke of genius.

 

[KT421]

Wild Kratts has been very very popular here. We even 3D printed the kids some vests and some creature power discs.

 

[KT421]

What voodoo did y'all perform to have kids that still nap at that age?

Ours quit naps for good around 2

Oh one of mine quit all naps at 2 and she was not ready. It was hard on all of us.

But the Disneyland nap is a special occurrence that happens to kids of all ages and in many cases to parents as well.