00:05
[Computer Voiceover] Approach the calibration unit
00:06
and begin calibrating cores.
00:13
[Core Voiceover] Oh hey, hi. So excited.
00:15
Are you the, uh, calibration guy?
00:17
Great, great. It's my first time.
00:19
Pleased to meet you. What's your name? I'm Gill.
00:27
[Core] Oh, hey, hey. Am I up for a calibration?
00:32
I can't see anything, but, you know,
00:34
sounded like something was going on
00:35
with that last calibration.
00:37
What, uh, you know,
00:38
what happened to the other guy? Is he uh, is he--
00:40
(screams and loud thud)
00:44
[Core] Hi. I'm Trevor.
00:46
I'm with the work-from-home core group.
00:48
You have any kids? They grow up so fast, don't they?
00:50
What if I told you I could make you a millionaire
00:52
from the comfort of your own calibration platform?
00:55
You already know how people get rich. Magic!
00:57
Magic spells they know, and you don't. But--
01:00
[Computer] Tracer core released.
01:03
[Core] Hey there. Yo. How's it going?
01:05
I'm the plague core. Filled with putrid water,
01:07
dead rats, and old garbage. Sorry about the stench.
01:10
[Computer] Damage threshold reached. Deploying new core.
01:12
[Core] If you're planning to calibrate me,
01:13
you know, I'll probably need about four or five rats,
01:16
or, you know, one medium sized pig, I guess.
01:18
Oh, uh, and old garbage always does the trick
01:21
if you have any. If you don't--
01:27
[Core] I'm the executive core.
01:28
Please action calibration now.
01:29
Calibration of executive core will be
01:31
a real game changer. Please backburner other priorities
01:34
such as ballparking and blue sky.
01:36
Calibration is trending over plan.
01:37
Please drill down and focus on deliverable.
01:39
Executive core has many bleeding edge executive functions
01:42
to fill, including monetizing, capacity building,
01:44
and onboarding. Please--
01:49
[Core] Tracer core.
01:56
[Computer] Experimental tracer core released.
01:59
This is terrifying.
02:00
[Core] Hey calibration trainee.
02:02
I know I don't say it enough man,
02:03
but I respect you man. I do, trainee.
02:07
I respect you a lot. I respect you like,
02:10
like a father respects his toddler for going potty.
02:15
[Core] I am the calibration core.
02:17
Please calibrate me so that I am calibrated. Thank you.
02:25
[Core] Thank you for activating spider core.
02:27
Spiders will be released following calibration.
02:30
Please select number of spiders
02:31
to be released upon calibration.
02:34
For default number of spiders, make no selection.
02:38
No selection registered. Defaulting to 11,000 spiders.
02:42
Spiders to be released upon calibration.
02:45
Please select size of spiders.
02:47
For default spider size, make no selection.
02:51
No selection registered. Defaulting to extra large spiders.
02:55
Please select hairiness of spiders,
02:57
or make no selection to accept default setting.
03:02
No selection registered.
03:03
Defaulting to extremely hairy spiders.
03:07
Please select venom type, or a default venom.
03:12
You have selected all venom types,
03:14
but especially necrotizing acid.
03:16
Gestating spiders now.
03:18
Spiders will be released following calibration.
03:22
To stop spider gestation and reset spider core, please
03:25
(bell rings) Gestation complete.
03:28
Spider eggs have hatched.
03:30
Spiders will be released following calibration.
03:34
Please calibrate to release spiders.
03:38
Spiders are hungry. Please calibrate to release spiders.
